Tom Deacon famous quotes

I never know the right thing to say, especially during sex. After my first time, I said to the girl, 'That's it, I'm afraid'
-- Tom Deacon

#Girl #Sex #Firsts

I once buggered a man unconscious. I'm lying, he was already unconscious when I found him
-- Tom Deacon

#Lying #Men #Found

Where I'm from, people aren't quick. A girl once asked her mum, 'Can I have a Cadbury's Creme Egg?' The mum said, 'No, you can't Danielle, I've already told you, darling - bird flu!'
-- Tom Deacon

#Girl #Eggs #People

One must always regret that law of growth which renders necessary that kittens should spoil into demure cats, and bright, joyous school-girls develop into the spiritless, crystallized beings denominated young ladies.

If you are looking for a kindly, well-to-do older gentleman who is no longer interested in sex, take out an ad in The Wall Street Journal.

Screw guilt -- I could have sex with 10 men and it wouldn't bother me. I'm an atheist!

Of all the alchemies of human connection-sex and childbirth and marriage and friendship-the strangest is this: You can stand up and tell a story that is made entirely, embarrassingly, of "I's," and a listening audience somehow turns each "I" into a "me." This alchemy, of self-absorption into shared experience, is the alchemy of all literature.

One of the first signs of a Spirit-filled life is enthusiasm!

I read my first book on Woodrow Wilson at age 15, and I was hooked.

Lawyers are the first refuge of the incompetent.

Sometimes to heal, you must first get hurt.

That's already been tried before only means the first attempt got it wrong.

The first part of my career, how I was paying the bills was commercials. I was just doing tons of commercials.