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Since you won't give me your names I'll call you Thing One and Thing Two.
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The best protection against rape, stalking, and domestic violence is to raise men who both understand that women are different, and would never dare take advantage of this difference.
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Jerry [Garcia] got high and Jerry's dead. I went hunting and I'm still Ted.
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I was always furious because you couldn't take out more than three books in one day. You would go home with your three books and read them and it would still be only five o'clock. The library didn't shut till half past, but you couldn't change the books till the next day.
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The best thing you can do is go away from this saying, 'I can do this too,' because it's all possible and I'm living proof.
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A Queen, or a Prime Minister's secretary may be shot at in London, as we know; and probably there is no person eminent in literature or otherwise who has not been the object of some infirm brain or another. But in America the evil is sadly common.
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The hope that is left after all your hopes are gone - that is pure hope, rooted in the heart.
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You can't fix stupid. You can't fix a neutered dog you can't fix a garage door and hey, you can't fix stupid
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I've often said in the past that I thought MTV was sort of evil incarnate and signified the beginning of the end. And I don't know if I'm entirely wrong about that, but they did sign my paychecks a year ago, so I guess I'm part of the problem.
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When someone goes, 'Oh, this group is really pissed off at what you said,' there's not a piece of my body that goes, 'Sweet!' That means I did it wrong. I'm just trying to make people laugh.