"For me, standup will always be some part of my life, and other things will move around and find their place."

-- J. B. Smoove

“O my son! The dunya (world) is a deep ocean in which many have drowned! Let your ship be taqwallah (fear of Allah), and load your ship with Iman-billah (believe in Allah), and let her sail be tawakkal (trust) on Allah! Insha'Allah you will survive then.”
“I'm always fascinated when people say, "We found rude conversations people had via e-mail." Why are you e-mailing this stuff? It has your signature on it! It has a time stamp!”
“I have very few friends. I have a handful of close friends, and I have my family, and I haven't known life to be any happier.”
“I once went to a demonstration in Aachen against fare increases on public transport. A police officer pulled out a bunch of my hair, and there were a lot of violent beatings. That's when I thought to myself: You'd better leave it alone.”
“Opportunities will be available to you that you cannot imagine.”
“See, indeed, that your daughter is thoroughly grounded and experienced in household duties; but take care, through religion and poetry, to keep her heart open to heaven.”
“No matter what time of year it's always funny when a person walks by me dressed in religious garb and I say Happy Halloween!”
“The oppressed never free themselves - they do not have the necessary strengths.”

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