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“I have never been much of a groomer. I take baths a lot, but I don't wear deodorant. I don't have to. I have a miraculous body scent. I've had women smell me and say that should be bottled. I would advise guys to lay off the Drakkar, because the cavemen weren't wearing it. They might have been putting mint leaves on their balls, but [your scent] is grown naturally. I have really good dating advice.”
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“We are similar to a museum. My function is to present old masterpieces in modern frames.”
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“Language is not an abstract construction of the learned, or of dictionary makers, but is something arising out of the work, needs, ties, joys, affections, tastes, of long generations of humanity, and has its bases broad and low, close to the ground”
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“Common sense is a vastly overrated virtue. I myself prefer the spark of genius.”
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“I reckon it's more of an external perspective that on some level you really can control and dictate how your career's going to go.”
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“If a budget is designed to show our values, it's clear where the majority stands: against opportunity, against education, and against America's hard-working, tax-paying middle class.”
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“My goals are to hit .300, score 100 runs, and stay injury-prone.”
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“Without gay men, I am nothing.”