"I worry about Las Vegas schools. I hear in math, they only teach them to count to 21."

-- Rita Rudner

#School Quotes #Math Quotes #Vegas Quotes

“When you go in and do a cool, small character, it feels less like work and more like fun.”
“Always be patient. I also believe everything happens for a reason.”

Source : Source: www.theskanner.com
“You know, having been an election monitor in countries across the world, I can tell you that we would never certify another country's election if it had as many flaws in place as we had in Florida.”
“Yes, it's true, I've been called the Laurence Olivier of spoofs. I guess that would make Laurence Olivier the Leslie Nielsen of Shakespeare.”
“We as Americans believe it's OK to kill people. We believe it's OK to invade a country that had nothing to do with 9/11. We think it's OK to invade a country where we think Osama Bin Laden is and he's in the other country. So we just go in and we just kill. And we have the death penalty; we sanction it.”
“In the arts, people are always waiting for someone or some movement to "fulfill her/its/his promise." Then, half-a-dozen or a dozen years on, others begin to realize that, really, something extraordinary was actually happening.”
“As is typical of this God [of Israel], he calls his people into freedom in the most unlikely place.”
“The church must never become a government factory, carrying on a nationalized industry of religion with the people as the bolts and nuts; with God reduced to the role of cramped advocate of current national policy. Surely the pages of history are replete and the examples in many a foreign country convincing that this kind of church-state union-whatever the original motives, or however noble the original purposes-winds up with a state that is less than stable and a church that is less than sanctified, and with the poor still hungry.”

You may also like:

Dave Barry
Author
George Carlin
Comedian
Judy Tenuta
Entertainer
Paula Poundstone
Comedian
Robert Klein
Stand-up comedian
Rodney Dangerfield
Comedian
Steve Martin
Actor
Wendy Liebman
Comedian
Woody Allen
Film producer