"Babies are equipped at birth with a number of instinctive reflexes and behavior patterns that cause them to spend their first several years trying to kill themselves. If your home contains a sharp, toxic object, your baby will locate it; if your home contains no such object, your baby will try to obtain one via mail order."

-- Dave Barry

#Baby Quotes #Children Quotes #Humorous Quotes

“I always played hockey, I was always a hockey fan, but I was never bitten by the hockey bug... I never looked into playing it professionally.”
“Going to school and working for good marks, indeed working for very good marks, was a serious business.”
“Getting even has never healed a single person.”

Source : "Forgiving Dr. Mengele". Documentary, www.imdb.com. 2006.
“It's always been my feeling that God lends you your children until they're about eighteen years old. If you haven't made your points with them by then, it's too late.”

Source : Betty Ford, Chris Chase (1978). “The times of my life”, Ballantine Books
“To be cautious, one should not take high confidence as any absolute guarantee of anything.”

Source : "Eyewitness Testimony". Book by Elizabeth Loftus, 1979.
“To the extent that I come from a deeply religious tradition and have been contending with those beginnings all of my life - that constitutes the subject of much of my early fiction.”
“I use a laptop more as a tool, as sort of the central artery. Everything goes through the digital audio card of my computer, but if I had my druthers I'd do everything in dedicated hardware.”

Source : Source: pitchfork.com
“Compassion is an unstable emotion. It needs to be translated into action, or it withers. The question of what to do with the feelings that have been aroused, the knowledge that has been communicated. If one feels that there is nothing 'we' can do -- but who is that 'we'? -- and nothing 'they' can do either -- and who are 'they' -- then one starts to get bored, cynical, apathetic.”

You may also like:

Alan Zweibel
Producer
Amy Tan
Film writer
Art Buchwald
Humorist
Carl Hiaasen
Journalist
Gene Weingarten
Journalist
Mitch Albom
Author
Ridley Pearson
Author
Russell Baker
Writer
Stephen King
Author