"I work hard and I don't come from a rich family."

“You pretty much have to be bad at it [stand-up] for several years to get good at it, so there's no avoiding embarrassing yourself.”

“We writers have this saying 'Kill your darlings'... but I suppose you family men don't agree with it.”

“I'm extremely interested in science as the mythos within which I live. Science tells me what kind of animal I am, what kind of a universe I live in. It's always deepening my understanding of the natural world.”

Source : Nashville Review Interview, as.vanderbilt.edu. December 1, 2012.

“Depression makes me hate the world, but it gives me a million things to think.”

“Nothing grows in our garden, only washing. And babies.”

“I don't eat a lot of anything. A little bit of everything, but not a lot of everything. Small meals all day long.”

“They don't teach you just how to be in school. There's no class on that. There's no multiple choice test for Why Do I Feel This Way?”

Source : "Heather Matarazzo: ‘Welcome to the Dollhouse’ changed my life". Interview with Jarett Wieselman, pagesix.com. March 22, 2011.

“Pardon me, Highness, a women waits whithout." "Whithout what?”