"I just want to be funny, I just want to do comedy."

“I'm a millionaire, but I cut the grass. And each time I cut it, it's my grass. And that is satisfying.”

Source : "Everyone Loves You When You're Dead: Journeys into Fame and Madness". Book by Neil Strauss, March 15, 2011.

“Popularity is when other people like you. Happiness is when you like yourself.”

Source : FaceBook post by Dr. Mike Murdock from May 15, 2014

“Those that dare lose a day, ate dangerously prodigal; those that dare misspend it, are desperate.”

“Religion is a system of wishful illusions together with a disavowal of reality, such as we find nowhere else but in a state of blissful hallucinatory confusion. Religion's eleventh commandment is "Thou shalt not question.”

“ObamaCare is to health care as a fart is to an elevator.”

“Kids today are sold so much, by corporations and media and commercials and advertising and music videos, that I do. A lot of times, they retain that stuff and wear it, and that's the concept of a hipster. It's about owning it and redefining it, on your own level. It's a way of retaining control and meaning, in a world where you're being told to think in a certain way.”

Source : Source: collider.com

“Sometimes it seems like you and me against the world.”

Source : Song: You And Me Against The World

“Life is a death-defying experience.”

Source : Edna Buchanan (2014). “The Britt Montero Series (Omnibus Edition)”, p.618, Diversion Books