"Women are good for only one thing - lying on their backs."

-- Harold Ballard

“Poetry relishes ripe fruit - but ripe is one thing and overripe quite another. That's something poetry doesn't like, so it couldn't care less if I were to fall overripe to the ground.”

Source : Source: blog.yupnet.org
“If I go out with a jacket and a pair of trousers that my wife doesn't like, you can bet your ***** it ain't in my wardrobe the following day. I say that it gets lost in the sky.”
“There's a lot of mountain climbers trapped inside of bodies of people behind the counter at Kinko's.”
“Weâ€™ve all seen the same situation happen to two people. One looks for the lesson, sets their shoulders back and presses on while the other asks â€˜why does it always happen to me?â€™ You can choose not to sit on the fence. You can choose not to criticise. You must stand as guard at the door of your own mind and choose to be positive.”
“The Earth is alive and contains the knowledge you seek. It is your consciousness that determines what it reveals. How to access this knowledge? And where are the keys to open it and make it yours? The Earth speaks. Love her, honor and respect her and she will reveal her secrets.”
“My granddad used to say, If everybody liked the same thing, they'd all be after your grandma.”
“Earnestness is the devotion of all the faculties.”
“Advice is unfriendly to learning, especially when it is sought. Most of the time when people seek advice, they just want to be heard. Advice at best stops the conversation, definitely inhibits learning, and at worst claims dominance.”

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