"Every mother hopes that her daughter will marry a better man than she did, and is convinced that her son will never find a wife as good as his father did."

“As soon as I was old enough to peer over the worktops, I remember being fascinated by what went on in the kitchen. It just seemed such a cool place, everyone working together to make this lovely stuff and having a laugh doing it.”

Source : "Paul Merton: 'Am I allowed to call myself working-class now?'". Interview With Decca Aitkenhead, www.theguardian.com. May 16, 2011.

“The team that makes the most mistakes usually wins.”

“I don't focus on what I'm up against. I focus on my goals and I try to ignore the rest.”

Source : Interview with Anjali Rao, www.cnn.com. December 19, 2008.

“A room? A nice room? A beautiful room? A beautiful room with bath? Swing high, swing low, swing to and fro...This happened and that happened... And then the days came and I was alone.”

“Our producer Jon Davison thought it would be a good idea to put in additional TV scenes. So, they sent me a tape of these additional TV scenes, and I watched them, and I didn't think they were that great. I didn't think it was worth putting them in.”

Source : "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

“Democrats and Republicans love Israel and all of us care about the existential threat to Israel from Iran.”

Source : "Gov. Walker on CPAC, record in Wisconsin; Rep. Scalise talks DHS funding fight". "Fox News Sunday" with Chris Wallace, www.foxnews.com. March 1, 2015.

“You know, I'm playing the Mirage in Vegas, the main room... About 5 percent of all comics end up as the main headliner on the Vegas Strip, so that's a big deal for me. Getting to do my stand-up the way I have this summer is really what I've dreamed of since I was about 10 years old.”

“It's easier to swoon in pious dreams Than do good actions.”