"I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours."

-- Rita Rudner

#Witty Quotes #Children Quotes #Parenting Quotes

“But kids don't stay with you if you do it right. It's the one job where, the better you are, the more surely you won't be needed in the long run.”
“There is no finish line when it comes to system reliability and availability, and our efforts to improve performance never cease.”
“The worst thing that can happen is that the effect that they create behind you is bigger than the performance you're putting out.”
“The lively phraseology of Montesquieu was the result of long meditation. His words, as light as wings, bear on them grave reflections.”
“When a man has done all he can do, still there is a mighty, mysterious agency over which he needs influence to secure success. The one way he can reach it is by prayer.”
“KEEP CALM and HAVE A SUGAR CUBE”
“I was starting to realize the extent of the problem here: everyone is always lying to each other, and even when they're trying to tell the truth, it can still be misleading or wrong. In fact, it almost always is wrong from at least one angle. I mean, the truth is really just a better class of lie.”

Source : Frank Portman (2008). “King Dork”, p.238, Delacorte Books for Young Readers
“Slime him, sis," Dan urged, "Make him a redcoat.”

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