"Wit penetrates; humor envelops. Wit is a function of verbal intelligence; humor is imagination operating on good nature."

-- Peggy Noonan

#Imagination Quotes #Function Quotes #Wit Quotes

“I told her I wanted a plastic surgeon to sew me up, and I wanted her to freeze my ovaries, so I could harvest the eggs and have a biological child through a surrogate.”
“If we esteem them too highly, good works can become the greatest idolatry.”
“Only God knows that. He is the only one who knows. He is only one who will know. And he is the only one who does know.”

Source : "Pacquiao-Hatton Worthy of Grand Setting". Yahoo! Sports, March 31, 2009.
“Jewish women are very exciting, as exciting sexually as any other group. Even so, my advice to a young man marrying a Jewish girl would be to have three and a half years of foreplay. Of course, most girls in every group are reserved about getting down to it. They don't usually do it right away. But once they do it, women are bananas. They don't wanna do it, you can't make them do it, there's no way they'll do it - but once they do it, they don't let you alone.”
“It is no coincidence that the American hunter is the most patriotic of all our citizens. Who cares more for this land's beauties than he?”
“And what can we expect if we haven't any dinner, But to lose our teeth and eyelashes and keep on growing thinner?”

Source : 'The Two Old Bachelors' (1871)
“It sure is boring to be around people who are in character all the time. I always find it's closer to mental illness than acting excellence.”

Source : Source: www.esquire.com
“The most deadly fruit is borne by the hatred which one grafts on an extinguished friendship”

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