Jilly Cooper famous quotes

Never drink black coffee at lunch; it will keep you awake all afternoon.
-- Jilly Cooper

#Coffee #Food #Lunch

The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness and kindness, can be trained to do most things.
-- Jilly Cooper

#Marriage #Kindness #Women

I love the long grass coming up to meet the willows.
-- Jilly Cooper

#Long #Grass

Meetings ... are rather like cocktail parties. You don't want to go, but you're cross not to be asked.
-- Jilly Cooper

#Party #Want #Cocktails

A lot of meetings are held to arrange when to have meetings. ... Meetings today are usually called conferences to make them sound more significant.
-- Jilly Cooper

#Sound #Today #Significant

The letter of application ... should be a masterpiece of fiction, papering over all the cracks. Get it properly typed on decent writing paper. Never let it run over the page, people get bored with reading.
-- Jilly Cooper

#Running #Work #Reading

The memo's chief function ... is as a track-coverer, so that you can turn on someone six months later and snarl: 'Well, you should have known about it, I sent you a memo.
-- Jilly Cooper

#Work #Track #Office

There is something infinitely dingy about the word workshop. Pray that England doesn't become a nation of workshopkeepers.
-- Jilly Cooper

#England #Praying #Workshops

The only thing a whirlwind courtship does is blow dust in everyone's eyes.
-- Jilly Cooper

#Eye #Blow #Dust

I can assure you that the class system is alive and well and living in people's minds in England.
-- Jilly Cooper

#Class #People #Mind

If you feel compelled to give a New Year's Eve party, don't invite people to arrive too early or they'll go off the boil before midnight.
-- Jilly Cooper

#New Year #Party #Years

Although it is the biggest time-waster in office life, you must never underrate the importance of the memo. You will be judged by the volume of your paper work.
-- Jilly Cooper

#Work #Office #Paper

Always be nice to everyone in the firm on the way up. You never know who you may meet on the way down.
-- Jilly Cooper

#Work #Nice #Office

hurting other people is not excusable because you've been hurt yourself.
-- Jilly Cooper

#Hurt #Revenge #People

People always assume that bachelors are single by choice and spinsters because nobody asked them. It never enters their heads that poor bachelors might have worn the knees of their trousers out proposing to girls who rejected them or that a girl might deliberately stay unmarried ...
-- Jilly Cooper

#Girl #People #Choices

Bachelors begin at thirty-six. Up till this age they are regarded as single men.
-- Jilly Cooper

#Men #Age #Six

in a village you can't sack or fight with someone, as you'll find yourself stuck beside them in the hairdresser's next morning.
-- Jilly Cooper

#Morning #Fighting #Finding Yourself

it's a good idea to wait a few months before joining anything when you arrive at a village. A bookseller friend who retired to nearby Oxfordshire, and was worried he might be bored, got himself on to every village committee in the first six months, and spent the next ten years extricating himself.
-- Jilly Cooper

#Years #Ideas #Bored

Go to lots of interviews, at least one a month even when you don't need a job, to keep in training for when you do.
-- Jilly Cooper

#Jobs #Work #Training

People who can write a book usually do.
-- Jilly Cooper

#Book #Writing #People

The aristocrat, when he wants to, has very good manners. The Scottish upper classes, in particular, have that shell-shocked look that probably comes from banging their heads on low beams leaping to their feet whenever a woman comes into the room. Aristocrats are also deeply male chauvinist, and ... on the whole they tend to be reactionary.
-- Jilly Cooper

#Class #Feet #Good Man

I think it bespeaks a generous nature, a man who can cook.
-- Jilly Cooper

#Men #Thinking #Cooks

I wrote my earliest piece for The Sunday Times about being a young wife.
-- Jilly Cooper

#Sunday #Wife #Pieces

At home I have big vats of cabbage soup that I make to slim down.
-- Jilly Cooper

#Home #Soup #Cabbage

Youve simply got to go on and on with your family and friends and tell them how much you love them because you never know whether theyll be there tomorrow, do you?
-- Jilly Cooper

#Family And Friends #Goes On #Tomorrow

I have a theory that the secret of marital happiness is simple: drink in different pubs to your other half.
-- Jilly Cooper

#Simple #Secret #Different

I was so flattered that someone wanted me to write a book, I said I would. It was published in 1969.
-- Jilly Cooper

#Book #Writing #Firefighter

I think we ought to have a kindness year, or a kindness century.
-- Jilly Cooper

#Kindness #Thinking #Years

It must be a terrible pressure to have to go to the office.
-- Jilly Cooper

#Office #Pressure #Terrible

There is nothing more attractive than a man who is not a New Man.
-- Jilly Cooper

#Men #Attractive

My own parents loved each other very much.
-- Jilly Cooper

#Parent

I would really like to spend more time with the family. Every time I go abroad I miss them all dreadfully.
-- Jilly Cooper

#Missing #More Time

And I would really like to be a grandmother, but only when Felix or Emily meet the right person and are ready.
-- Jilly Cooper

#Grandmother #Ready #Persons

I'd never have written the big books in London.
-- Jilly Cooper

#Book #London #Big Book

But I always seem to finish a book and then think, oh God, I've got to pay a tax bill, so I'd better write a novel, so I tend not to stop and learn word processing.
-- Jilly Cooper

#Book #Writing #Thinking

I'm basically a very happy person and I don't have to be anybody else.
-- Jilly Cooper

#Very Happy #Happy Person #Persons

I live at home and, if I want to start work at 11 o'clock, I can.
-- Jilly Cooper

#Home #Want #Clock

But really I'm not terribly interested in what I eat.
-- Jilly Cooper

For sheer sexiness, a man must be beautiful. Funny. yes. Clever, no.
-- Jilly Cooper

#Beautiful #Clever #Men

Leo, sadly, has Parkinsons, but he used to cook all sorts of dazzling things.
-- Jilly Cooper

#Used #Cooks #Parkinson