All MARK TWAIN Quotes about “Cigars”

“Eating and sleeping are the only activities that should be allowed to interrupt a man's enjoyment of his cigar.”
“If there are no cigars in heaven, I shall not go.”
“I smoke in moderation. Only one cigar at a time.”
“Yesterday, everybody smoked his last cigar, took his last drink and swore his last oath. Today, we are a pious and exemplary community. Thirty days from now, we shall have cast our reformation to the winds and gone to cutting our ancient shortcomings considerably shorter than ever.”
“I have made it a rule never to smoke more than one cigar at a time.”
“I pledged myself to smoke but one cigar a day. I kept the cigar waiting until bedtime, then I had a luxurious time with it. But desire persecuted me every day and all day long. I found myself hunting for larger cigars...within the month my cigar had grown to such proportions I could have used it as a crutch.”
“If I cannot smoke in heaven, then I shall not go.”
“More than one cigar at a time is excessive smoking.”
“The cigar-box which the European calls a 'lift' needs but to be compared with our elevators to be appreciated. The lift stops to reflect between floors. That is all right in a hearse, but not in elevators. The American elevator acts like a man's patent purge-it works.”
“No one can tell me what is a good cigar - for me. I am the only judge. People who claim to know say that I smoke the worst cigars in the world. They bring their own cigars when they come to my house.”
“If smoking cigars is not permitted in heaven, I won''t go.”
“I ordinarily smoke fifteen cigars during my five hours' labours, and if my interest reaches the enthusiastic point, I smoke more. I smoke with all my might, and allow no intervals.”
“I have only one moral precept; never smoke more than five cigars at a time.”
“No one can tell me what is a good cigar--for me. I am the only judge... There are no standards--no real standards. Each man's preference is the only standard for him, the only one which he can accept, the only one which can command him.”

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