"When you're a hammer, everything looks like a nail; and when you're a left-wing sorehead, everything is an occasion to damn the rich."

“This is not an easy time for humorists because the government is far funnier than we are.”

Source : 1987 Speech to international meeting of satirists and cartoonists. Reported in the NewYork Times, 28 Jun.

“I went to acting school for like a year and ended up doing voiceovers and stuff. I could have done a lot more with it but at the time I really wasn't taking it seriously.”

“There's probably some buried conservative inside of me, coming out like a little gremlin in my belly that I've suppressed. This is a sort of character I've done before: He's kind of dumb and he's kind of arrogant, and a little seedy. A little coke-y. He's gotten into the cocaine or he's had too much coffee. It's been pretty fun. Not all the songs are like that but it sort of creeps in there.”

Source : "How Herman Cain Became a Tim and Eric Character". Interview with David Weigel, www.slate.com. November 12, 2011.

“I've never really been into ghosts or spirits, and I've only had a couple of those kind of experiences.”

“If you want, you can overcome all: Pressure, expectations, gravity.”

Source : FaceBook post by Mesut Özil from Jul 28, 2015

“My father told me 'Name your price in the beginning. If it ever gets more expensive than the price you name, get out of there.'”

“From time to time, just about every Vanity Fair writer has a chance to sell rights to an article or a book to Hollywood.”

“I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.”