"Satire does not look pretty upon a tombstone."

“To have a museum like the Museum of Modern Art in New York is to have power. I don't have any interest in being the director of an institution that has power.”

Source : Source: www.raintaxi.com

“Being on TV in front of people is a lot different than sitting in a dark room with a microphone. When I had my radio show, I was on four hours a day for 20-something years. If you put a live microphone in front of Mother Teresa for that amount of time, she'd piss somebody off.”

Source : Source: www.hollywoodreporter.com

“It’s one of the most enjoyable experiences. To me, it’s theater. Immediate reaction, the second it’s done. I get to be in my living room with you, trolling my own show.”

“It is unfair to suppose that one party has invariably acted rightly, and that the other is responsible for every wrong that has been committed.”

Source : Nelson A. Miles (1992). “Personal Recollections and Observations of General Nelson A. Miles, Embracing a Brief View of the Civil War, Or, From New England to the Golden Gate and the Story of His Indian Campaigns with Comments on the Exploration, Development, and Progress of Our Great Western Empire”, p.340, U of Nebraska Press

“I don't know if he needs a tic tac or toilet paper.”

“Health is wealth. Peace of mind is happiness. Yoga shows the way.”

“Don't wait for the last judgment - it takes place every day.”

“If you’re at zero backlog, it’s a whole lot easier to change priorities.”