"My girlfriend makes me want to be a better person... so I can get a better girlfriend."

-- Anthony Jeselnik

#Girlfriend Quotes #Stupidity Quotes #Want Quotes

“They blossomed, they did not talk about blossoming.”

Source : "The Sun Watches the Sun". Book by Dejan Stojanovic, "A Thought about Ourselves" (p. 122), 1999.
“At North Hollywood High School, I was shunned by everyone. I would sit down in the cafeteria, and students would get up from the table and walk away. They thought I was from the Mafia.”
“I don't have a disregard for my reader in humor pieces.”
“Success without honor is an unseasoned dish; it will satisfy your hunger, but it won't taste good.”
“The artist is he who can take something ordinary and wring out of it attar of roses.”
“If terrorism is to be defeated, the world of Islam must take on board the secularist-humanist principles on which the modern is based, and without which Muslim countries' freedom will remain a distant dream.”
“Unreasonable is very relative.”
“By bringing nature into our lives, we invite humility.”

You may also like:

Amy Schumer
Stand-up comedian
Daniel Tosh
Comedian
Dave Attell
Comedian
Greg Giraldo
Stand-up comedian
Jeff Ross
Stand-up comedian
John Mulaney
Actor
Pete Holmes
Comedian
Whitney Cummings
Comedian
Patrice O'Neal
Stand-up comedian