"There are no miracles on Mondays."

“Your job is to point that rifle into the other guy's face and shoot him dead.”

“The things I talk about in my comedy are my experiences. I just do what I know.”

“Our social life is literally primal, in the sense that chimpanzees and gorillas, our closest relatives among the primates, are also social.”

“It's like those high-school yearbook photos that everyone would rather not see: Oh my God, look at that mullet hair. I have those photos too, but for me, they're, like, entire movies. And they show them on cable.”

“I was never someone who had a lot of confidence in anything that had to do with using your brain. I really was lost in my life after football.”

Source : Source: bleacherreport.com

“It is only our deeds that reveal who we are.”

“I want to live in a city where immigration is seen as a new source of strength.”

Source : The Guardian, July 22, 2006.

“The task of a leader is to simplify. You should be able to explain where you need to go in two minutes.”