"Kill me, Doug. Just kill me now. Put me out of my misery.†“Christ, Kincaid, what did you say to him?†murmured Doug. “Well,†I told Doug, “I ripped on his fans and on how long it takes for his books to come out.†Doug stared at me, his expectations exceeded. “Then I said—not knowing who he was—that I’d be Seth Mortensen’s love slave in exchange for advanced copies of his books."