Ben Berger famous quotes

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner.
-- Ben Berger

#Funny #Hilarious #Kids

A man and his dog is a sacred relationship. What nature hath put together let no woman put asunder.

I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I'll never get to do that.

If you're a guy, you have absolutely no idea what's going on at any time in the relationship, ever. Here's what you know: you know when you're getting laid, and you know when it's all over. Those are the only two things you're aware of.

When your about to criticize someone walk a mile in thier shoes, that way when you criticize them you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes

Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.

Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born?

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.

Television is a constant stream of fact, opinions, lies, moral dilemmas, plots: an infinitely complex and sophisticated torrent of information. How could it not make you cleverer? The only people who ever thought television rotted the brain and made kids dumb were those with a vested interest in other ways of learning, or those who were intellectually insecure, usually about books.

If you want to go to the mall, you have to take security. But it's always cool. The kids are amazing.

I don't travel by airplane. I mean that because when my wife, my kids and I travel on trains or boats, we meet a lot of people and we talk to them.